Offensive Defense

Did you ever know someone who did a little time in prison, maybe a lot of time? Ever notice how they are forever look'n at folks like they're still out in the yard? Look'n them up and down with the slightest flick of an eye. It's the sort of thing you would probably never notice someone doing unless you're sizing them up too.
This is how I walk through the city, taking a physical inventory of the people (the men, really) who are passing by me. I'm profiling them and I'm primarily concerned with their size.

"Could I take this fella down?"

That's what I'm asking myself about each of them. Sometimes the answer comes quick - "No doubt" or "Oh, not a chance" - but generally more information is needed to make a determination. In these instances I move into an analysis of their individual specifics.

For example, if dude is big, what kind of big is he? No matter if he's tall or short, if the back of his neck wrinkles like a pack of all beef hotdogs then he is likely slow and easily winded. This improves my odds. If he is beefcake big he's likely got a bit more stamina but his range of motion could be compromised, like a toddler at the pool with those safety-orange arm floaties. I'll try out maneuvering him. Perhaps I can take advantage of an environmental factor like a large trash can I can position between us and buy a few moments to consider my next move.

The most hypothetically dangerous body type is the average man - average height, average weight, all-around average. His natural strength will exceed mine and his agility will at least match mine. This is where things get thick. My hypothetical defense plan now depends on more intel, so my analysis continues.

"How is my man dressed?"

If it appears that he spends more than 25 minutes preening between his shower and leaving the house (which is about what I spend on a bad day) then he is a pretty boy and cares more about his clothes than would allow him to get them messed up in a scuffle. This sort of randomized, opportunistic assault would not be his MO, not for today. He’s just not dressed for it.

This can, of course, be overridden by the ‘grit factor.’ If he’s clenching his teeth and pulling his jaw tight enough to slice cheese or his lip is raised just enough to flare a nostril and squint an eye then he is not to be reckoned with. He’s completely unpredictable and I’ll put some space between us if I can do so discreetly.

It sounds like an endless process but all this really happens almost simultaneously. Within a fraction of a second I’ve observed all the information I need and it will take only a moment more to make my inferences. As of yet, the fair citizens of Washington have been spared the unleashing of my hypothetical wrath.